Mewtube
by HyperGinger
Summary: Flint and Volkner make online videos. When their fans start shipping them together, Flint decides to kick it up a notch by starting fanservice with his friend...you know, just for the fans, of course. Volkner gets frustrated in more ways than one. Ignitionshipping Youtuber AU.
1. Chapter 1

Dumb title is dumb, lol. Inspired by fangirls who ship their favorite Youtubers together, specifically Game Grumps fans (who go so far as to write fanfictions and draw fanart of them). Side note: I do NOT condone the open shipping of real people. Think whatever you want in your own head, but they can get pretty creeped out when they actually see it, folks.

...Except Egoraptor. He loves that stuff.

Also, Flint's battling style is based on a series made by TheHeatedMo called LolHax. If you like silly, cheap, luck-based battling, I'd check it out.

* * *

On January 20th, Volkner made arguably the worst mistake of his life: he checked his Recommended videos on the Mewtube homepage. Sure, it seemed innocuous enough at the time; he had no way of knowing it would lead to the most frustrating year of his life. Had he clicked on any other video, he would have avoided his infuriating fate.

But no. He just HAD to click on _that_ one.

Maybe it was the click-baiting title—"CRAZIEST POKÉMON BATTLE EVER!"—or maybe it was the username. After all, who wouldn't be curious about a screen name like "FlamingFroFlint"? For whatever reason, though, he clicked on it.

When the video loaded, Volkner was greeted by what seemed to be a recorded section of a livestream. The facecam in the corner featured a happy-looking man about Volkner's age with a ridiculous afro the color of a Darmanitan—that explained the screen name, at least—having a wifi battle. He wasn't bad to look at, despite the goofy hair. Expressive, too. Volkner could see why he chose to use facecam. He was in the middle of addressing his audience about the Pokémon on his half of the field.

"...so my Drifblim's still in, but he's got four of my Pokémon down. He's got a Mega Tyranitar in, too. This isn't looking good, guys. I don't think I'm gonna win this one. You know what? Let's just mess with him as much as possible. Let's go for this one..." With that, the red-haired man selected an attack from one of the strangest movesets Volkner had ever seen. Minimize, Baton Pass, Swagger, and...Astonish? What the hell? That move only had 20 base power; it was weaker than Tackle! Was this guy some kind of idiot?

At the man's direction, the Drifblim—comically nicknamed "Baloonatic," Volkner couldn't help but notice—successfully confused the Mega Tyranitar with Swagger. Tyranitar managed to execute a Crunch attack, but it missed. Wait...Crunch was 100% accuracy. Why did...

"Yes! Bright Powder does it again, folks! Haha!" Ah, so that's why. Odd choice again... "Let's top it off by being even more annoying," the player said in giddy excitement, selecting Minimize.

Much to the man's delight (Volkner supposed his name was probably "Flint" based on the screen name), the Tyranitar hit itself in confusion. The Pokémon's already colossal Attack stat combined with the amplification from Swagger made it do serious damage to itself, and Flint whooped loudly. "Let's make it even worse."

After a few turns of Tyranitar missing and hitting itself, Baloonatic maxed out its evasion, re-confusing its opponent every time it broke out. It was quickly becoming apparent to Volkner just what kind of player this man was. He highly doubted that Flint would even care if he lost at this point. Volkner couldn't help but grin widely at his antics, wondering just what he would do next.

"You know what? Let's actually attack now, just for fun." Drifblim then proceeded to use Astonish...and Tyranitar flinched. _Right, Astonish has a flinch chance. So THAT'S why he has it,_ Volkner thought.

"HAH! We got the flinch! Suck on that, Tyranitar!" Flint repeated this tactic for about five more turns. Astonish hardly did anything to the bulky Dark-type, of course, but the flinching, confusion, and missing certainly made for a good show. Flint was practically cackling at this point. It wasn't long before Volkner couldn't help but join him, his own raucous laughter filling his empty apartment, especially when the Mega Tyranitar knocked itself out in confusion. Flint's opponent sent out a Leafeon next. True to form, Baloonatic confused it with Swagger, but the Leafeon had already managed a Leaf Blade. The Drifblim tanked the resisted hit with a good chunk of HP left. Flint adjusted accordingly with his next move.

"Now that we don't outspeed and we can't get the flinches, let's switch it up, eh?" Volkner cocked an eyebrow as Flint Baton Passed into a male Lopunny named Playboy. _Clever._ Leafeon broke out of its confusion and actually managed to hit through all the Baton Passed Minimizes, but Flint must have had the best luck in the world; not only did the Lopunny live through the attack, but his Cute Charm activated, infatuating the (female) Leafeon. Volkner, who had made the mistake of taking a sip of water beforehand, almost spat it out onto his laptop screen. He choked out a burst of laughter in sync with Flint's cackles.

While Flint quickly chose Lopunny's attack, Volkner forgot to check its moves when he noticed that there was no Mega Evolution button. _Did he forget to put the Mega Stone on it? No one uses regular Lopunny,_ he wondered. It wasn't long until he got his answer.

Lopunny outsped Leafeon and pummeled it with a Fire Punch. Lopunny's subpar Attack stat combined with Leafeon's spectacular Defense allowed it to survive the super effective hit, but it suffered a burn.

And a flinch.

 _What the flying Foongus is going on? How—_

"King's Rock comes through! KING'S ROCK COMES THROUGH!"

Volkner was stunned. Flint gave up a Mega Stone...for a regular held item...with only a 10% chance of activating. 100 points in base stats, several tiers' worth of viability...for a 10% flinch chance.

 _This guy's full of surprises, that's for sure._

The rest of Lopunny's arsenal, which consisted of Thunder Wave, Dizzy Punch, and Teeter Dance, combined with attract status, flinching, burns, and extreme evasion allowed the Lopunny to sweep half of the opponent's team. Flint's exhilarated laughter blared happily through Volkner's speakers at the events. Volkner struggled to breathe past his giggles. Finally, the icing on the cake appeared: Flint's battling screen appeared to freeze for a moment, and then a white screen popped up, which read, "An error has occurred. Communication with the other Trainer was interrupted."

Flint gaped at his screen for a full five seconds before he practically exploded. "HAHA! YES! HE DISCONNECTED! HE DC'D! That was the best battle EVER!"

Flint continued to celebrate and rant for another minute or two about how "epic" the events were. Volkner's chuckles finally died down, and he found his ribs hurt from laughing so hard for so long. His smile only grew as he watched the man on the screen gesture wildly and talk a mile a minute in his adorable, giddy excitement. Volkner scrolled down to leave a comment.

"Lmfao. That was amazing. That's the most I've laughed in forever. Keep it up!" He tapped the comment button decisively. He'd definitely be marathoning this guy's videos tomorrow. For now, though, it was time to go to bed. He went to bed with a contented smile on his face and slept better than he had in months, the joy surrounding him like a warm blanket as he hugged his Raichu plushy.

* * *

Volkner practically pranced over to his laptop, a bowl of colorful Chansey Charms cereal in his hands. He switched his computer on and waited impatiently for it to boot up. Once he was back on the Mewtube homepage, he checked his notifications. His comment on Flint's video from yesterday had certainly garnered some attention, so he muted the post to avoid getting any more notifications. Volkner's 90,000 subscribers must have been out in full force again.

The cereal sat forgotten and soggy in his lap as he pored over video after video of Flint's cheap, silly battling style with single-minded enthusiasm and laughed uproariously at each one. Roughly two hours had gone by before he arrived at the last one: a sincere, sweet video in which Flint addressed his audience directly to thank them for 100,000 subscriptions. Volkner smiled wryly. So this guy had him beaten by about 10,000...well, no matter. He clicked the subscribe button himself, then looked to the corner of his screen to see that he'd received a private message. _Interesting._ Volkner opened it, and his eyes widened in shock when he noticed it was from FlamingFroFlint himself. He eagerly drank in the words.

"Hey! Saw your comment on my video last night. You got over four hundred likes, so I figured you were important and checked out your channel. Your videos are great, man! Wanna do a collab at some point?"

Volkner made a strange squeak at the unexpected offer and looked around his apartment with a paranoid look on his face. _Man, am I glad I live alone. That was weird,_ he thought.

Even though he knew no one could see him, Volkner was still embarrassed at how long he spent perfecting his simple reply:

"Yeah, sounds good. What did you have in mind?"

* * *

Fresh, dry-cleaned blue jacket: check. Carefully spiked blond hair: check. Camera and microphone: check.

Composure: not quite.

For the life of him, Volkner couldn't stop fidgeting. God, he was acting like a girl. It wasn't like this was a date; he was just meeting Flint over Skype to talk about collaborating, that was all.

Volkner took another sip of water and tried to take a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. _What is my deal right now?_

Flint's screen name popped up in Volkner's contacts list right on schedule, and he jumped. So much for calming his nerves. He hovered his cursor over the name for several seconds but was unable to force himself to click it. Thankfully, Flint took care of that for him, and Volkner accepted his invitation with a shaky click. He remained rigid in his chair, which suddenly felt uncomfortable beneath him. The black screen brightened to reveal Flint's face. The man looked back at Volkner and paused. Flint's eyes widened for a second, but he quickly recovered and gave his trademark grin.

"Hey! ShiningShockingStar, right?" Volkner nodded dumbly, not trusting his tongue to successfully accomplish words at that moment. He resisted the urge to wring out his sweaty hands. Flint chuckled under his breath and shook his head. "Man, I can tell why you chose that name. Why the hell don't you show your face?"

Volkner cleared his throat. When had it gotten so dry? "Uh...I dunno, I'm just...um. I just like my privacy, I guess," he managed, averting his eyes and snapping his mouth shut before he could stutter through another sentence.

Flint's expression turned sympathetic. "Camera shy, huh? That's too bad. You could get a lot of followers with a face like that. You should definitely use facecam."

"Wh—b-b-but...uh...um—" Volkner slapped a hand over his mouth to stop his sputtering. He could feel his face burning from the compliment. _God, what is wrong with me today?_

Gentle amusement sparkled in Flint's gaze. "Sorry, dude. Wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable. So you mostly do wifi double battles, right?" Volkner gulped back the shame of his embarrassing reaction and nodded again in response. "Great! What if you and I teamed up and did multi battles together? With your serious strategies and my ridiculous hax, we'd be unbeatable! What do you say?"

Volkner scratched his chin and raised his eyebrows in slight surprise. That actually didn't seem too bad. He hummed softly to himself. "That's not a bad idea. I've thought about doing multi battles, but I don't collaborate much because my friends don't live close by. Not that it's impossible, but it's easier to do in person, y'know?"

Flint nodded in agreement. "No one lives near me, either, so I have to do everything online. Where do you live, anyway? I mean, if you don't mind me asking. I kinda make my general location pretty obvious, but I could hardly find anything on you," he admitted, scratching the back of his head self-consciously.

Volkner did his best to ignore the slight spike in his pulse at the man's admittance of having searched for his personal details. "We actually live in the same state. I'm over in Springfield."

Flint's jaw dropped. "Dude, seriously? That's, like, half an hour from me! That's awesome!"

One corner of Volkner's mouth lifted in a small smile at Flint's enthusiasm. He had to lean back from his screen at the man's sudden increase in volume. _When did I get that close to the screen to begin with?_ he wondered idly.

The two hammered out the final details of the plan. Volkner could feel excitement pool in his gut with every word, though he did his best to squelch his reactions as much as possible. Once the date was set, Flint exhaled and grinned eagerly.

"I'm so amped for this...ah...I just realized I don't know your real name yet, bro! You never actually tell us. Fifty-three videos, and I still hardly know anything about you, you know?"

A bit of color rose to Volkner's cheeks. "You've...seen all fifty-three?"

It was Flint's turn to blush this time. "Ah, yeah. I kinda marathoned them all last night. Maybe you can tell by the bags under my eyes...I pulled an all-nighter." He grinned sheepishly. "Is that creepy?"

Volkner blinked in surprise. "N-no, not at all!" he insisted, choosing not to admit he had done much the same thing. "That's not weird." He paused, noticing Flint's expectant stare. "Oh, right. D-don't tell anyone, but my name's Volkner. Just...I'm not quite ready for my followers to know yet, so...it's a secret for now," he said, looking away shyly.

"Hm...Volkner, huh?" Flint smiled. "I won't tell anyone. Man, I feel special now! Great, so I'll see you in a couple of weeks, then? I've gotta get to work on my announcement video! You should make one, too, eh?"

Volkner smiled back genuinely. "Yeah. Sounds good."

Flint grinned widely at Volkner's expression. "Awesome! Volkner, you should smile more. It's a great look for you!" He snickered when Volkner stiffened again in embarrassment at the comment. "See you later!" His screen faded out.

Volkner stared at the blank screen for a second longer before letting his face fall onto the keyboard, the action leaving a rather profound "bmkuhf" in his searchbar.

Well. That couldn't have been any more humiliating, but it worked. He had a date— _appointment,_ he amended to himself—with his new friend.

Right, friend.

Not crush. Definitely friend. It was way too early to have a crush on that buffoon, right? Right?

Volkner opted to take a nap. There was no way his nerves would allow him to make a remotely calm announcement video at that point.

* * *

In an apartment roughly half an hour away, a happy giggle filled the air. "Man, how cute!"

* * *

A/N: Did you guys know there's a Springfield in every single state in the U.S.? Yup. I just thought everyone should know that bit of trivia. I'm definitely not just enabling my own indecisiveness, nope.

I know Volkner's starting out a little OOC here, but I feel like he'd be the type to get star-struck. He'll get more in-character later on.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm well aware that this is a real-world AU, but I'm still going to be making up fake, dumb, Pokémon-based brand names because it's my story and I can do that. So there.

Lots of competitive Pokémon battling here, but you don't have to know all the subtleties to get it. I didn't use any ridiculous lingo. I did do all sorts of damage calculations to verify that the battle would actually go this way, though.

For non-Americans: 40 degrees Fahrenheit ~ 5 degrees Celsius.

* * *

Volkner shivered and buried one hand in his jacket pocket, wishing he'd brought a pair of gloves as he double-checked the address on his phone. _Looks like this is the right place,_ he thought. It had been roughly two weeks since his first harrowing Skype chat with Flint. Since then, they'd communicated several times, each time being easier than the last as Volkner's jitters gave way for hesitant banter with his new friend. The pair had agreed to meet first in a public place before collaborating on the video, which brought Volkner to his current location: just outside the local Starlybucks five minutes from Flint's place, quivering from the cold and watching his own breath appear before dissipating back into the air. Their meeting time wasn't for another seven minutes and thirty-three seconds (not that Volkner was counting or anything, not at all), but he still tapped his foot impatiently.

He didn't have to wait long. "Hey, dude! You're early," called a voice from his right. "Hope you weren't waiting too long!" Volkner's shoulders tensed when his buddy came around the corner of the coffee shop to greet him.

"Nah, just got here," Volkner fibbed. Flint didn't have to know that he'd arrived embarrassingly early (seventeen minutes and twenty-two seconds—again, not that he was counting). He couldn't help but size up the man in front of him. He looked shorter than Volkner by an inch or so, but he was willing to bet the man's pronounced slouch was to blame. His lean torso was hugged by a yellow shirt, and decorative red suspenders hung from his baggy pants. All in all, Volkner found the look to be both quirky and charming, aside from one thing.

"Flint, why are you wearing sandals?" At Volkner's blank confusion, Flint only grinned smugly.

"Why aren't YOU wearing sandals?"

"Because it's 40 degrees outside. Aren't your feet cold?"

"Nah, I don't get cold. Let's go in already. I need my coffee!"

* * *

Volkner had assumed Flint was bluffing about his temperature tolerance, but when the man ordered an iced coffee ("with two creams and four sugars, please!"), he was forced to reconsider his assumption. He ordered his own hot coffee (black), and the two sat down by a wide window. Volkner pretended to examine the throngs of people shuffling past them outside so he wouldn't have to attempt to keep eye contact with his flamboyant companion. Volkner was still shaking a little, but the warm atmosphere and beverage wouldn't let him continue putting the blame on the temperature. Flint finished a large gulp of his own drink with a refreshed sigh and broke the brief silence.

"Ah! Perfect. Now, then. You've already bred your Pokémon, right?" Volkner nodded. "Great. Before we head back and start things up, I wanted to go over a few things."

As Flint started discussing held items and specific strategies with him, Volkner relaxed a bit. This, he could do. Double battles were his element. He contributed his own ideas, preening internally whenever Flint praised him. The other man was rambling eagerly and gesturing enthusiastically, and things got easier for Volkner. With the two of them sitting in such a casual setting, just drinking coffee in an ordinary shop, it became more obvious that Flint was a real person, just like he was. He wasn't some ethereal creature who existed only within the realm of the internet. A warm calm spread over Volkner at the realization as he slouched back into his chair, letting the languid atmosphere, heated beverage, and muted lighting ease his frazzled nerves. It wasn't long before he himself had launched into a five-minute rant about how the new critical hit mechanics fit into their strategies.

"...and then you can just Surf everything to death," he finished, eyes bright with excitement after the lengthy diatribe. He was practically panting from the constant flow of speech. The exhilarated smile fell from his face when he noticed Flint was covering his mouth and shaking from suppressed laughter. "What?"

"Pfft...is...is that always what you look like when you get carried away?"

Volkner crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean? How should I know?"

Flint removed the hand covering his mouth. His tone shifted from teasing to good-natured when Volkner got defensive. "Volkner, that's the other thing I wanted to ask you before we head back. Have you maybe given any more thought to my suggestion?"

Volkner's curiosity overtook his irritation. "Suggestion? Which one?"

Flint looked away in an uncharacteristic show of hesitation. "Well, maybe you've noticed, but I always use facecam when I record. As I said before, I don't think it would be a bad idea for you to try it." When Volkner balked, Flint reassured him. "I mean, I'm not going to force you, of course! If you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable. It's just that you're really interesting to watch when you get all fired up like this. I think showing your face would help you connect with the audience more. It adds another dimension, you know?"

Volkner almost objected, but it made a lot of sense when Flint put it that way. He looked down into his cooling coffee and rubbed the side of the styrofoam cup with his fingertips. "I...well...I don't know..." he trailed off.

Flint gave a winning grin and fluttered his eyelashes. "Please?" he whined cutely. "For me, Volky?"

Volkner looked back up at his friend's ridiculous expression and burst into a fit of giggles. "One condition: don't ever call me that again."

"YES!"

* * *

Flint's place was only a five minute walk away from the coffee shop, so the pair didn't bother driving. Volkner was shivering by the time they approached the building. Naturally, Flint didn't seem to notice the temperature, chatting away carelessly as the gray apartment complex came into view.

Volkner glanced at it, trying to acclimate the boring, ugly building with his eccentric, hyperactive friend. It just didn't fit somehow.

The inside of Flint's apartment, however, was a different story. When the door swung open, Volkner's nostrils were met with a scent reminiscent of cheap fast food, pizza, Febreze (no doubt sprayed at the last minute to cover the others), and something Volkner realized must be unique to Flint himself. He didn't find it to be altogether offensive, though he did find the artificial quality of the Febreze to be somewhat out of place and secretly wished his friend hadn't bothered.

The apartment's general appearance was typical of a young man who lived alone. Flint had clearly made an attempt at cleaning, but his lack of finesse in doing so was obvious. Corners of counters still had bits of dust. Volkner could see occasional articles of clothing sticking out from under Flint's saggy gray couch and peeking out of his closet where they had doubtlessly been shoved hastily. The trash can in the kitchen to his right just barely managed to contain its contents. Several pizza boxes were keeping the lid from closing entirely.

Overall though, the place was pretty clean. Volkner hid a chuckle at his friend's earnest but haphazard work, easily able to picture the frenzy Flint must have gone through to fix things up for him. It wasn't what he had expected from the man, but it was endearing.

"Living room's straight ahead, and kitchen's to the right," Flint explained briskly. "Want any soda or anything? I have water and lemonade, too, but that's about it," he offered.

"Water's fine," Volkner said. He always drank some while recording so commentating didn't dry out his throat.

"Right. One sec," Flint said, jogging over to his fridge. He had a few letter-shaped magnets, but Volkner could only see a D, two Ps, and a T (lined up in that order). _Wonder if he lost all his vowels...can't imagine he can spell too much with just those,_ Volkner thought.

"Ah, shit," came a curse from the inside of the fridge. Flint straightened up. "I only have one bottle of water left...do you mind sharing? It's fine if you don't..."

Volkner shrugged. "No problem."

"Great. I usually set up my camera and record on the couch. Sound okay?" Flint asked, leading his companion forward into the living room.

"Yeah. That's cool."

They had agreed in advance to record from Volkner's 3DS so Flint's comical movesets wouldn't be visible to the audience beforehand, contributing to the hilarity. Volkner hooked up his capture card while Flint retrieved a laptop and set it on the coffee table in front of them so they could link the two. While Flint turned on all the equipment, Volkner gulped in nervous anticipation when he saw the camera attached to the top of the computer. His face was pale, and his expression suggested he feared it would pounce and attack him at any moment.

Flint followed his gaze, guessed what was wrong, and gave a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Volk. You'll do fine. Besides, this isn't a livestream, so we can edit out anything you want, okay?"

Volkner relaxed at the reminder. "Y-yeah. I think I'll be alright," he murmured.

Flint rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. "Good. Don't forget to speak up so the microphone can pick you up." Figuring he'd still be louder than Volkner anyway, he positioned the mic closer to his friend to compensate. "Ready?"

Volkner half-smiled. "As I'll ever be."

"Great."

Before long, they had their first opponents—or "victims," as Flint preferred to call them—and the time had come for introductions. Flint switched on the webcam and spoke up first.

"Hey, what's up? FlamingFroFlint here! Are you guys ready for the haxiest multi battle you've ever seen?!" He paused as if waiting for an answer. "Great! I've got a special treat for you today, too!" He looked at his laptop screen and noticed Volkner had frantically shuffled out of the viewfinder's range. "C'mere, dude, don't be shy," he said, yanking Volkner toward him by the arm until the two sat with their sides touching so they were both within the frame. He promptly wrapped an arm around the man's shoulders so he couldn't escape.

"Lucky for you guys, I've convinced ShiningShockingStar to show his face at last! You're welcome, ladies," he teased, winking at the camera. "Why don't you introduce yourself, dude?"

Volkner froze up under the watchful eye of the camera. "Uh...um...hi. I'm Sh-ShiningShockingStar. Some of you might know me from my wifi double battles." He rubbed his arm self-consciously. His eyes darted back and forth between the camera and the ground, and he took a sip of the water as an excuse to look away.

"Aw, look at that. You'll have to excuse this one, guys. He's a little camera shy. Why don't we give him a round of applause to fire him up, huh?" he said enthusiastically.

Volkner rolled his eyes and replied sardonically, "It's not like we can hear them, idiot."

Flint smiled. "See? You're back to your normal self already. Great work, guys!" He gave the audience a dumb thumbs-up. "Now, let's get going!"

It took some practice for Volkner to remember to watch the laptop screen instead of the 3DS in his shaky hands, but both partners chose their Pokémon and started the battle. Their opponents sent out a Salamence and a Chesnaught, and Flint and Volkner sent out a Kingdra and a Toxicroak, respectively. Volkner took a look at their opposition and smirked at his partner. "What do you want to bet that Chesnaught uses Spiky Shield first turn?"

Flint grinned back. "My thoughts exactly. Setup time?"

"I'll cover you."

"Care to explain our strategy to the audience? He came up with this all on his own, guys, and he's very proud of it."

Volkner sat up straighter and smiled as he began his lengthy explanation. "Critical hits may have gotten a nerf this generation since they only do 1.5x damage instead of 2x, but that's cancelled out by a more broken mechanic: if you raise your critical hit ratio by one stage, it rises to 12.5% instead of the usual 6.25%, while two stages let you crit 50% of the time...and three stages makes you get a critical hit a whopping 100% of the time. Flint likes his hax, so we're only going for two stages so luck will remain a factor, but this'll still be fun. Take a look." Volkner stopped speaking when the action started.

True to form, Chesnaught used Spiky Shield to try to block any incoming moves just after Salamence Mega Evolved. Volkner's Toxicroak, the subtly-named Dart, moved next to use Fake Out on the Salamence, causing it to flinch. Volkner explained further.

"Since Kingdra isn't too bulky, Toxicroak eases the setup by Faking Out the biggest threat on the field, while Kingdra is free to use Focus Energy, bringing it up to that 50% crit chance. By the way, if you want to crit all the time with this strategy, have Kingdra hold a Razor Claw or Scope Lens instead."

Flint had commanded his Kingdra to use Focus Energy just as Volkner instructed and waggled his eyebrows at him. "Like the nickname, dude?"

Volkner checked the Pokémon's name. He sighed. "Let me guess: you named it 'Queendra' instead of 'Kingdra' because it's female. Am I right?"

Flint giggled. "You got it!"

He snorted. "Very original."

"I thought so. We can't have everyone actually taking us seriously, can we?"

Volkner shook his head with a smile and chose not to dignify that with a response. "Now that we're set up, I can Poison Jab this Chesnaught to death and watch Kingdra..." He paused when Flint gave him a disapproving glance. "...sorry, QUEENDRA—wreck everything. That Mega Salamence is gonna be a problem, though. Any ideas?"

Flint selected his move and scratched his chin thoughtfully for a moment. "Hrm...cross your fingers?" Volkner raised an eyebrow and looked away from his friend, giving the camera a deadpan look.

"There you have it. Hope. That is our strategy."

He looked back down at the screen just in time to see the mega Salamence prepare for an Outrage...

...and miss.

"YES! BRIGHT POWDER! THE HAX ARE REAL!"

Volkner's eyes bugged out of his skull. "Huh. I guess 'hope' worked." He snapped back to the action as his Toxicroak struck, dealing a super effective hit to the Chesnaught and taking it below half health. It poisoned its target, and Flint was quite vocal about how much he enjoyed that. Volkner just barely made his voice heard over the din. "Poison Jab has a 30% chance to poison, so this isn't too surprising."

Flint's Kingdra moved afterward with a dramatic Draco Meteor. Naturally, it got a critical hit, and the mighty Mega Salamence fell with a roar. Flint celebrated with multiple aggressive fist pumps and had to sip some water to avoid hurting his throat. Volkner chimed in again.

"Draco Meteor does decrease special attack, of course, but critical hits cancel out stat modifications like that, so as long as Kingdra—yes, Flint. Queendra—keeps critting, it won't matter."

Chesnaught lagged behind and belatedly hit Toxicroak with a Hammer Arm. It wasn't very effective and didn't do much damage. Both men glanced at each other in confusion and shrugged. A mis-click, perhaps? Between turns, Chesnaught's Leftovers recovery was cancelled by the poison Toxicroak had inflicted upon it, while Toxicroak himself recovered a bit of health.

"By the way, I gave Toxicroak Black Sludge," Volkner clarified. "This Toxicroak will hang around FOREVER, and not just because of that. You'll see what I mean."

One of the opponents next sent out a Klefki. Unfazed, Flint addressed his companion with a lame surfer accent. "You stoked, bro?"

Volkner refused to even look at him for that one. "Flint, I told you that joke was dumb. Not one person is going to laugh at that. Even when they figure out why you used that accent, no one's going to think it's funny."

Flint snickered as they finished selecting their moves. "You sure? Hey guys, give this video a Like if you enjoy my dumb jokes!"

"Don't do that. We're supposed to TRY for Likes, you know? I hope you realize you're sabotaging us. Hey, everyone, leave a comment about how dumb Flint is being right now," he countered.

"You're mean," Flint whined with a childish pout.

The action started back up when Klefki made use of Prankster by setting up Light Screen. Kingdra's next move ensured that it was a wasted effort.

"Hey, dude, we're in a speed tie! You and I are equals!" Flint pointed out. Volkner nodded at the observation. Interesting.

As Kingdra launched into a Surf, Volkner picked up his commentary once again. "My Toxicroak has the Dry Skin ability, so Water-type moves like Surf make him regain HP. Flint's free to hit everything on the field with Surf...which is why he was using that moronic accent, by the way. Even Pokémon who resist it don't stand much of a chance." As he explained this, the Chesnaught fainted under the assault, proving his point.

Klefki survived, but not by much. "Another critical hit! Screw you, Klefki! YES!" Flint yelled in celebration.

"And since it's a crit, that Light Screen doesn't come into play, either," Volkner happily reminded the audience. Toxicroak struck with a deadly Drain Punch. The Steel-Fairy type fainted, and Toxicroak couldn't even regain any more health from it because Kingdra's Surf had already healed him fully.

Both players looked eagerly at the screen, examining the empty side of the field and wondering which Pokémon their opponents would try next. Instead, they were met with a message informing them the other side had forfeited.

The pair cheered at their victory, exchanging joyful laughter and high-fives.

"Dude, that was awesome," Flint gushed.

Volkner nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! Wanna do another one?"

"Hell yeah!"

* * *

The boys had time for two more rounds, which resulted in two more resounding triumphs. Critical hits happened more often than not, even when Volkner's Pokémon were brought into the equation. The pair's incredible teamwork evolved with each battle. Volkner's Pokémon protected Flint's each time, and Flint's healed Volkner's in return. They won every match without losing a single Pokémon, strategies and luck complimenting each other in an unstoppable combination. They laughed breathily in tandem at the end of it all.

"Man, that was great. We should have done this ages ago!" Flint said. He accepted the water bottle from Volkner's hand and downed the last of it. "No one can stand up to our combination! We're too strong!" He reached out to give his partner a high-five, which Volkner returned.

"Don't say it out loud, it's too embarrassing," he said smugly. Since Flint had made the introductions, Volkner addressed the camera himself with newfound confidence. "I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as we did, because this definitely won't be the last of these," he said, exchanging determined looks with Flint. "Subscribe to our channels if you want to see more stuff like this. I'm ShiningShockingStar..."

"...and I'm FlamingFroFlint. See you guys next time! C'mere, dude," he said to his companion, pulling him into a bro-hug. "Great job, Volkner."

Volkner's eyes went wide at the hasty demonstration of affection, and he tried to ignore the warmth of Flint's neck against his cheek and resisted the urge to nuzzle his hair.

"...Ah, shit. I said your real name." Flint pulled away, allowing Volkner to recover and fight the light blush on his cheeks.

"That's fine. You can cut the video just before you said it, right?"

Flint nodded energetically. "Yeah, no problem. I'll send you a copy before I post it so you can double-check everything, 'kay?"

"Great."

The two packed everything up, and Flint walked the short distance with Volkner to his car. They turned to face each other, and Volkner's expression turned more serious.

"Flint, today made me really happy. I feel like we really have something special here, you know?" He held out his hand. "I'd love to collaborate with you again."

Flint smirked and grabbed Volkner's hand in a rough handshake. "No doubt, Volk. I'm really glad to have a friend like you." He patted Volkner on the shoulder, and the two said their goodbyes and separated.

Volkner grinned at the lingering warmth on his hand. _Friends, yeah...that sounds nice. This guy's gonna be important to me, I can already tell._ He had no idea just how true that was.

* * *

A/N: That Kingdra/Toxicroak combination is absolutely perfect, by the way; I came up with it on my own, and I use it pretty often. They really do speed-tie and everything. I also have Sucker Punch on Toxicroak for the priority and Flash Cannon on Typhoon (that's my Kingdra, because there's no way in hell I'd actually call a Pokémon "Queendra") to deal with Fairies. Feel free to try it out!


	3. Chapter 3

An hour and a half after he got home that night, Volkner finally got an email from Flint (not that he was refreshing the page every three or four minutes in anticipation, not at all, because that would be weird). He opened the attachment and watched their newest video. He couldn't keep the goofy smile off his face as he relived their banter, only grimacing at his awkward behavior in the beginning. He paid close attention to the end and noticed that Flint had, indeed, cut out the mention of his name. The screen faded to black when they were about an inch apart from their bro-hug.

His own face in the shot looked a bit funny from the surprise of the embrace, but he ignored that. Even without that expression, though, there was something weird about the ending. Something was a bit off, but he couldn't quite place it.

Either way, his name was cut out, and that was the important part. Flint had done all the formatting correctly, so he sent a confirmation email to let Flint know it was all set to be posted. He knew the video would go up that night, but he decided to get some sleep so there would be plenty of comments to read when he checked in the morning. Volkner hopped into bed, grabbed ahold of his stuffed Raichu, and fell asleep once he managed to calm down after the day's events.

* * *

As usual, Volkner approached his laptop with a spring in his step and a bowl of Chansey Charms in his hands, not anticipating what he was getting himself into by connecting to the internet that day. If he had known, he probably would have taken his time.

Of course, the first page he checked was Flint's, and he immediately clicked on the newest video, which was entitled, "MULTI BATTLE WITH SHININGSHOCKINGSTAR!" (He'd grown accustomed to his friend's excessive use of caps lock and extraneous exclamation points by now.) It already had 3,000 views, 500 likes, and over 100 comments, all of which Volkner planned to read.

He skimmed a few bits of the video, especially the last few seconds (which still seemed a bit weird to him somehow, though he couldn't figure out why), before checking the comments.

They weren't quite what he was expecting.

Oh, sure, there were a handful of normal ones about the actual video and the strategies they had used and how funny they thought it was (along with one or two who had followed his directions and told Flint he was being stupid). There were plenty about how great of a team he and Flint made; Volkner's personal favorite was from a fan who wanted to know how many years the two had known each other. He didn't have the heart to tell the fan it had been less than a month since they'd first spoken. Plenty of fangirls also chimed in to let Volkner know how attractive they thought he was. He blushed furiously when a couple of them felt it necessary to inform him of what they'd like to do with him in bed. He kept scrolling and dropped his spoon with a clatter when he saw the others.

The rest of the comments were a little...different. They went something like this:

"OMG, you guys are the cutest couple EVER."

What.

"You guys made out at the end of this video, didn't you? Flint totally went in for the kiss."

 _What._

"Were you guys swapping saliva at the end?"  
-"Well, they were sharing a water bottle, weren't they?"

 _WHAT?!_

"I already ship you two. You argue like a married couple."

 _Oh. My. God. THAT'S what was wrong with the ending. They thought Flint was going to kiss me, not hug me._

Over half of the comments were like this. Volkner re-watched the infamous ending again and noted that the last frame, indeed, was just before the hug started and their faces were in close proximity. His own embarrassed expression on the screen and Flint's smirk didn't help. It didn't take much imagination to assume they had kissed instead of hugged.

 _Shit._

He immediately whipped out his phone. He had to talk to Flint.

Once again, his cereal sat forgotten and grew soggy.

* * *

Half an hour later, Flint yawned as he opened up the door for Volkner. "C'mon in. What's so urgent that y'had to wake me up for anyway?" he slurred tiredly.

Volkner strode briskly into the apartment, absently noting with satisfaction that yesterday's Febreze scent had faded. "I don't suppose you've had time to check up on the comments from our video yet, have you?"

Flint cocked his head in confusion. His brain clearly wasn't entirely awake yet. "Wha...um...no? I just woke up, dude. Of course I haven't."

"Well, sign in to Mewtube already. You've got something to see."

Flint shook his head wearily and checked his watch, noting that it was still eleven in the morning. It was way too early for this.

Under Volkner's alert directions, he made his way onto the video's page (which already had another few hundred views and some more comments to boot). Volkner sat down next to Flint and took over, gently pulling the computer from his friend's inept fingers. He swiped the browser bar to about five seconds before the video's end and angled the screen so Flint could see it.

"Now. What does this look like to you?" Volkner pressed play.

" _...and I'm FlamingFroFlint. See you guys next time! C'mere, dude._ " said the Flint in the video. Volkner watched his image get pulled in by the neck for about the seventh time. The video stopped.

Flint frowned. "I guess it seems a little abrupt. Do you think I should have just muted the part with your name and left the video in?"

Volkner shook his head. "Maybe, but that's not the issue here. Scroll down."

Flint regained control of his laptop and started reading the comments. "Let's see...one calling me stupid...one saying we're a good team...another fangirl who wants to get in your pants," he paused, winking at Volkner. "I told you so, dude,"

Volkner glared. "Don't get sidetracked. THIS is the part I'm worried about." He gestured to yet another of the strange comments, which Flint felt the need to read aloud.

"This one says, 'You guys should have left in the part at the end where you made out. I bet that—wait, WHAT?!"

Volkner crossed his arms and nodded. "Yup. That's not the only one, either."

Flint continued reading, and his eyes grew wider with each one. "Man, they're all over the place! Seriously, like, seventy percent of them are—oo, some of these people are pretty creative. This one has a theory about how we—"

"ANYWAY," Volkner interrupted, having already read that particular fan's obscene musings. "Now that you're awake, what are we gonna do about this?"

Flint returned to the top of the page to re-watch the ending. "You know, they're not wrong. It really does look that way, doesn't it? We were sharing that water, too, and we chose a multi battle of all things...hey, watch this!" Flint scrubbed the time indicator back and forth multiple times over the last five seconds, making their images lean in and out repeatedly while obnoxiously chanting, "Will they? Won't they? Will they? Won't they? AHAHAHA—"

"WILL YOU STOP?!"

"Sorry."

Volkner let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, we can't just keep letting people think we kissed after that, right? We should probably type out a comment to clarify—"

"No."

"...What?"

Flint's eyes gleamed. "I have a better idea."

Volkner's eyes showed skepticism. "I'm already concerned. What's your idea?"

"Well," Flint wheedled, shifting a bit next to him. "What if we...y'know, played along with it?"

Volkner stared at him blankly. "So you think we SHOULD make out for the camera."

"No, no! Not at all!" Flint denied, holding up his hands defensively. "You don't get it! We should leave it VAGUE," he said, gesturing to the video, "and just PRETEND to...I dunno, hit on each other? It'll be like fanservice. They'll love it! We'd just be your typical ambiguously-bisexual male best friends. It's not too far off from the truth, really."

Volkner snorted. "That's a dumb idea. There's no way that would..." He paused and narrowed his eyes. "You know, that actually might work. How many subscribers do you have right now?"

Flint opened his page. "111,031. Hey, that's gone up a lot since yesterday!"

"Open up my page in a new tab," Volkner commanded. Flint did so. "I've got...holy Shiftry, I've got 100,083! I have to make a video about that...but anyway, this video's obviously helped us both in terms of subscribers, and it got a lot of views very quickly. Flint, people like seeing us together...for one reason or another," he trailed off, shuffling his feet. "We can really take advantage of this. Do you think...maybe, do you think we could make this a thing?" he proposed, gesturing vaguely between them. "Like...I dunno, start a gaming channel together?" he suggested shyly.

Flint lit up at the prospect. "Yeah! We could have a channel together where we'd play two-player co-op games and use questionably-gay bromantic fanservice for views! Wanna know the best part?"

"Yeah?" Volkner egged him on, almost bouncing in his seat.

"You can use your 100,000 subscriber video to announce it! I'll put a video on my channel, too, and you can advertise it on yours with that handsome face of yours now that you've shown it at last," he teased, pinching one of Volkner's cheeks.

"Ouch," Volkner whined, pulling away and rubbing his cheek.

Flint giggled. "Get used to it, _babe,_ " he flirted sarcastically.

Volkner flicked the man's forehead in retribution, feeling satisfied at Flint's noise of complaint. "So how about a name for this thing? I'm pretty sure 'ShiningShockingStarFlamingFroFlintGaming' is over the character limit, not to mention it's wordy."

Flint tapped away at the keyboard until they were at the Account Creation screen. "We kind of have a fire-electricity thing going on with our names, so let's try that."

Volkner nodded. They tried all sorts of channel names, like 'FusionFlare' and 'FlameCharge,' but nothing sounded right. They almost settled on 'Firewire,' but that one was taken. Stumped, the two stared at the blinking cursor and red Error message from their latest failure for a moment.

Volkner snapped his fingers. "I've got it. What about 'Ignition'?" he said emphatically.

"That's it! Perfect!" Flint agreed. "Because fire sparks electricity in motors, and you got all fired up in our multi battles!" Without further ado, the man typed "IgnitionGaming" into the box and pressed enter. As the page loaded, both men crossed their fingers.

The screen blipped up to another page, which read: "Account created."

"Alright!" High-fives were exchanged, details were clarified, and promises of announcement videos were made before an elated Volkner hurried home.

Before even making the announcement, Volkner logged in and checked the new channel. He read the description Flint had left: "FlamingFroFlint and ShiningShockingStar: The greatest bromance in history!" He shook his head and laughed gently before hitting the Subscribe button.

* * *

Volkner added the last few touches to his (slightly embarrassing) thank-you video for the fans. Without Flint by his side, it had been more difficult to push down the nerves, but his hands were almost done shaking by now. He'd done a decent job at editing out the worst of his stutters, too. In fact, his nausea had died down so much that he was able to actually finish his bowl of Chansey Charms while the video exported.

He later got a text from Flint congratulating him on sounding convincingly "love-struck" while talking about him. Which was funny, because Volkner didn't recall acting at all.


	4. Chapter 4

IgnitionGaming had been active for roughly four months, and Flint and Volkner had settled into a routine. As intended, they played co-op video games, and their teamwork shone just as strongly as it had in the beginning, perhaps even more so.

"Hey, Volkner, check this out," Flint enthused. Volkner no longer flinched at the sound of his own name being open to the public; as he and his partner got chummier, he figured there wasn't much reason his followers shouldn't know it by now. He'd even grown accustomed to the facecam showing their reactions to the game.

"You're not gonna freeze the game again, are you?" Volkner admonished. "Don't ruin things for others."

"Nah, no way!" Flint said. "Darmanitan Country is FULL of fun glitches. Watch this one!" Flint went through a series of events that caused his character—Darmanitan Kong, a muscular Darmanitan wearing a red necktie with "DK" on it—to begin riding a rhinoceros. That fact wouldn't have been unusual...except for one action.

Volkner blinked. "It...it looks like...uh..."

Flint giggled insanely. "See?! It looks like he's humping the rhino! Ahahahaha!" He proceeded to parade around the level this way, cackling incessantly as he went.

Volkner hid his face in his hands. "Dear Arceus, that is obscene." Unable to watch any longer, he reached over to his friend's sides, knowing he was ticklish there.

"D-dude, no—ahaha! Don't—pfft! HAHAHA—aww, man, you made me die," he said sadly, calming down as he fell off an edge, rhino and all.

Volkner retracted his hands and smiled smugly. He picked up his controller again, taking control of the game with his own character, a Darumaka wearing a baseball cap. "You deserved that. Lord knows this channel doesn't need more sexual harassment."

Flint waggled his eyebrows, already over the sabotage. "Why, would you rather wait until later?"

"Jeez, what would you even do without me?" Volkner stated, brushing over the typical innuendo. "I'm the only one who can actually play these games."

Flint shrugged. "Glitch my way through?"

"Fair enough," Volkner allowed. As his character cartwheeled through the exit, he grabbed Flint's hand so he could check the man's watch. "Alright, that's it for this episode. Don't forget to Like, comment, and subscribe if you liked it. Thanks for watching!"

Volkner breathed a sigh, paused the game, and switched off the camera. Flint cocked an eyebrow. "Need a break?"

"Yeah, just for a bit," Volkner admitted. He went to Flint's bathroom, doing his best to keep his stride casual. Once he closed the door, he collapsed against it face-first.

 _Yeah, I need a break,_ he thought bitterly. _Just not for the reasons you'd think, Flint._

He turned his head to examine himself in the mirror. His face was just barely flushed. He looked down next. He wasn't hard or anything, but it was still irritating.

The more time went on, the more aggressive Flint had gotten in their "fanservice." If Volkner didn't know how much of an oblivious dolt his friend was, he'd swear the man was doing it on purpose. The fans loved it, of course.

This session had ended innocently enough, but it didn't seem quite as innocent after some of the other instances, in which Flint had commented positively on the size of his dick (which he'd never seen, by the way), offered to give him a blowjob while he played, and lifted his shirt to show the audience his abs (which he then offered to lick. Volkner politely declined the invitation). Add in the fact that Volkner was completely in love—and lust—with Flint by now and, well...let's just say it was always a consolation that the facecam didn't go low enough to show their crotches.

Volkner had gotten in the habit of jacking off before he went to Flint's apartment for filming to get it out of his system—and whenever he visited at all, to be honest, because the flirting bled over into their regular interactions as well—but he hadn't had time that day, so he was treading on thin ice.

He splashed his face with some cold water and glared at his intense, dripping reflection. _It's okay, self. Just a few more episodes to film before you can go home._ He swung the door open with a flourish and stomped over to rejoin Flint on the couch. "Flint, can I talk to you about something?"

Flint looked up. "Sure, bro. What's up?"

"Well, recently, with the fanservice..." Volkner began hesitantly, not enjoying Flint's concerned expression, "...not that it's not working or anything but...don't you think you're going a bit overboard?"

Flint deflated. "Why? The fans still seem to think it's funny. What's the problem?"

Volkner shook his head. "No, it's not that. I just...well, um...I'm only human, you know?" he hedged self-consciously.

As usual, Flint didn't catch the hint. "What do you mean? You always seem like you enjoy it. You do it, too."

Volkner almost growled. _Enjoying it is EXACTLY the problem. Dammit, Flint, why are you so dense?!_ "Yeah, but I'm subtle. You know what? Never mind. It's fine," he finished lamely, not wanting to push the issue.

"Hm. Okay. Whatever you say," Flint responded, still not understanding. "By the way, I wanted to ask you something, too."

Volkner perked up. "What is it?"

"Well, we spend a lot of time together. You only live about half an hour away, but you visit a few times a week, and I figured that must get a bit old. I have a spare room here. I really enjoy hanging out with you, and with how much time you spend here..." Flint looked up shyly.

"Go on," Volkner encouraged.

"Would you maybe, want to..." Flint bit his lip, and Volkner's eyes traced the action. "...move in with me?"

Volkner's eyes went wide, and his thoughts immediately started racing. _Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea, DON'T DO IT! You already like him, it'll just get worse, he's just a tease, he doesn't REALLY like you back, he doesn't pick up his socks, you'll just get MORE frustrated, he doesn't mean it THAT way, you'll have blue balls constantly, and...and..._

"...Sure. I'd like that, Flint."

 _Shit._

How could he say no?

* * *

Things got worse. OF COURSE they got worse. Volkner KNEW they would get worse.

For one, Flint was alarmingly comfortable walking around in just a towel. The first time had been the worst. He'd walked up to Volkner, still half-naked and dripping, his hipbones poking out from the low-slung towel, and stopped less than a foot from him in the kitchen to say, "Dude, look at my hair!"

Volkner yelped as he stood up from looking into the refrigerator, and the milk in his Chansey Charms threatened to slosh out of the bowl. "Wh-wh-what? WHY?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

To be fair, his hair did look a lot different than usual. The weight of the water was holding it down straight past his shoulders so it couldn't go into its usual afro shape. "Bro, touch my hair!"

"NO!"

Volkner refused staunchly for a few minutes before he gave in, realizing Flint wouldn't leave him alone until he did. He stood half a foot away from him, stroking the sleek hair of the (almost naked) man he loved and keeping eye contact in a herculean display of willpower. He knew his face was as red as Flint's hair, not that his dense friend ever noticed things like that.

"Man, I love it when people touch my hair," Flint sighed contently. "How's it feel?" he taunted smugly.

"...It's fine," Volkner mumbled, then walked away to shut himself up in the bathroom for a while.

He had lied, of course. It felt amazing.

Volkner himself always put on clothes immediately after the first time Flint saw him similarly attired and shamelessly pointed out how nice his body was.

* * *

Privacy and Flint didn't go well together. He didn't go out much, seemingly preferring to hang around and bother Volkner instead. It was almost impossible to get any private time, which Volkner would have loved if he didn't have a sex drive to take care of.

Which was a problem Flint himself aggravated merely by existing.

It didn't help now that Volkner had discovered his newest obsession: Ignitionshipping. He'd been trying to search "IgnitionGaming," but curiosity and Google's auto-fill function led him down a less pure path. Volkner had been shocked and extremely embarrassed the first time he found out there were people out there who made fanart of him and Flint.

The embarrassment turned to amusement when he saw just how out-of-character some of the goofy fanfictions depicted them. One of them seemed to think they were both virgins. Yeah, right.

The amusement turned to arousal when his attention shifted to some of the more well-written ones, specifically the ones with the two of them flat-out having sex with each other.

Within a few sessions of perusing the internet for more of his new addiction, Volkner was hooked and all traces of embarrassment had vanished.

Volkner was typically very careful about when he jerked off. Flint didn't get out much, but when he did, Volkner made the most of it. When Flint said he was going to the grocery store and he'd be back in half an hour, Volkner wished him luck and got to work, knowing he wouldn't have much time.

He whipped out his laptop, activated Incognito Mode—there was no way ANYONE could know or he would die of humiliation—and brought up one of his favorites.

This one portrayed a scene where the two of them screwed each other's brains out on the couch after a gaming session. The characterization was perfect, and it was a situation Volkner himself had pictured many a time, even before he discovered this particular fanfic.

He was so absorbed in his reading that he didn't hear the door slam or the footsteps behind him. He didn't even hear someone puttering around in search of a forgotten grocery list. He did see the shadow above his monitor, though.

 _Oh, balls. Please tell me that's not..._

It was. Flint was standing over him with a manic smile. "Whatcha got there, Volk?"

It took a full five seconds for Volkner to process the question, and another five for him to figure out a way to talk himself out of this one. If nothing else, Volkner was a clever man. He handed the laptop to Flint, acting as casual as he could.

"Can you believe this? They actually make fanart and fanfiction of us. Have you seen this stuff yet?" His fake, teasing grin felt as fragile as glass.

"Hm...that's...oh, jeez!" Flint's eyes bugged out as he kept reading. "We're really going at it! They sure have imaginations, huh?" His eyes kept scrolling. "Why are you in Incognito Mode?"

Volkner raised a brow. "It's porn. Do you leave porn in your browser history?" That part wasn't really a lie.

"Yes," Flint deadpanned. "No shame! If someone's going through my browser history, they deserve to be scarred for life. Hey, you know what we should do? We should totally read this on the show and compliment the artist! It's actually pretty well-written. It'd be hilarious!"

Some part of Volkner's brain short-circuited and fizzled out. "Uh..."

 _Don't say yes. DON'T SAY YES. This is a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad idea. Don't you dare—_

"Yeah. Sounds like fun."

 _Goddammit, self._

He still couldn't say no to Flint.

It was the ultimate irony: Volkner wanted Flint and staved off his urge to nail Flint—or get nailed by Flint, he wasn't picky—by jacking off while reading fanfics ABOUT him nailing Flint...only to get interrupted by Flint himself. It made his brain hurt. At least he hadn't had his pants down yet.

* * *

 _"'_ _God, I've wanted you since we filmed episode 3,' Volkner panted as he ran a hand through Flint's hair. Flint groaned at the action. 'I love it when you stroke my hair,' he said breathlessly as he pushed a hand up the back of Volkner's shirt."_

"That part's not even an exaggeration. He really does like it when I stroke his hair," Volkner told their audience, making Luigi jump to narrowly avoid a piranha plant.

"True," Flint confirmed before starting his reading again from Volkner's laptop in a sultry voice. _"The heat between their bodies grew when their desperate rutting created friction. Clothes were shed and a chorus of moans filled the air as Flint grabbed Volkner's—"_

"Aw, shit," Volkner swore over the next few words as he lost his Yoshi to a football player. _Yeah, let's pretend that's the reason I swore in case anyone asks._

 _"_ _...and Volkner returned the favor, stroking him and biting Flint's lip aggressively.'_ That's accurate, too," Flint shared shamelessly. "I really like lip-biting. Man, this author's good! I wonder if she also knows I like rough—"

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION," Volkner snapped as Luigi was hit by a green shell he had just thrown against a wall. Volkner hadn't played this badly in years; he could feel his face flaming, even without looking at himself in the facecam panel.

Flint continued on, undaunted. _"'This isn't enough for you, is it, Flint?' Volkner gasped."_ Presumably to tease the audience, Flint reached his free hand over to grope at the real Volkner's chest as a joke. Thankfully, it wasn't underneath the shirt, but the thin tank top he was wearing to beat the sweltering June heat didn't offer much of a barrier. Volkner started and gave himself a pat on the back for not letting it affect his performance in the game this time. Altogether, he thought he was doing quite well for a man with a boner who was being molested by the love of his life while listening to erotic fiction about himself screwing the aforementioned love of his life on the very couch where they were currently sitting. It was like some atrocious brain-twister.

 _"_ _Volkner turned around to line up backwards on top of Flint..."_ Volkner could feel their body heat rise even further as Flint shuffled even closer to Volkner—which was impressive considering how close they already had to sit for filming—and whispered the next bit into his ear: _"...and they took each other into their mouths."_

"FUCK!" Volkner cursed, jumping about a foot in the air as he accidentally put Luigi out of his misery by falling into a pit. Flint thought it was hilarious, of course.

"HAHAHA! You should have seen your face, bro! Alright, it's my turn to play! You wanna finish reading?"

Volkner crossed his legs pointedly and glared at Flint, who didn't take the hint. "I think we've read enough. Thanks to Ao3 member 'IgnitionGirl76' for..."

"Dude, does that mean there are 75 other 'IgnitionGirls' out there? Sweet!"

"...for the INSPIRING literature. Thanks for watching," Volkner snapped, scowling at Flint after he switched off the camera.

"What?" Flint said defensively. "It was funny!" When Volkner silently stood up to go to the bathroom, Flint slapped his ass.

Unlike most times, Volkner didn't roll his eyes and laugh. Instead, Flint was met with a searing glare and a low growl.

"Okay, jeez! Sorry!" Flint sputtered, holding up his hands.

Volkner slammed the door. No splash of water to the face was going to do it this time. He let out an exhausted sigh as he slumped down on the toilet seat and released his erection from his tight pants. He wasn't surprised to see it was already throbbing. He pumped himself quickly, thoughts full of handjobs and blowjobs and Flint's lithe, sweat-soaked body writhing underneath his on the couch.

He was so close that he spent himself within a minute, remembering just in time to stop the mess with tissues and bite down on his knuckle to stifle his groan as he released.

Volkner stared tiredly down at his hand once he was done, taking a breather before he could head back out and pretend nothing was wrong for Flint once again.

He was fucked every way but literally.

* * *

I think this is clear, but in case it's not, "Darmanitan Country" is "Donkey Kong Country." You really can do that rhino-humping glitch in the first level, too.


	5. Chapter 5

Side note concerning Candice and Maylene in this chapter: check out their dialogue from the Platinum Villa at some point. Those two are the only pair you see there aside from Volkner and Flint. Read what they say to each other and tell me something isn't going on between Candice and Maylene, I dare you. They flirt about as much as Volk and Flint do, perhaps more. Not to mention Maylene visits her in Snowpoint City. When you walk around barefoot, you'd better have a damn good reason to visit a city where it is ALWAYS SNOWING.

Moving on…

* * *

Two months later, Volkner was re-reading the comments on their now-infamous fanfic-reading video. Unsurprisingly, absolutely everyone in the world except Flint had realized how horny he was. Perfect. Just perfect.

A notification popped up on the page, and Volkner opened it to reveal a personal message, and he finally cheered up at its contents. "Hey, Flint! Good news!"

His energetic friend bounded into the room. "What? What is it?"

Volkner skimmed the page. "It looks like we've been invited to Sinnoh Con to host a panel so we can talk about IgnitionGaming and our individual channels! We can meet the fans and everything, too."

"It's in Springfield, too! That'll be easy to get to," Flint added as he read over Volkner's shoulder. "And hey, we get to meet all your fangirls."

Volkner rolled his eyes. "You have just as many as I do, you know; we're about tied for subscribers. So you wanna go for it?"

Flint checked the dates. "October 20th-22nd? That's pretty soon! I'm cool with it. You?

Volkner nodded. "It's a date," he joked dryly.

* * *

Volkner got a bagel and some water from the cafeteria, purposely picking bland foods he knew he'd be able to keep down in preparation for his sure-to-be nerve-wracking panel. It was one thing to have a camera and editing as a buffer, but it was going to be quite different directly addressing his fans. He sat down next to Flint at a table. Flint was trying to calm him down with senseless chatter, and it was working somewhat when they were called to by someone else.

"Hey! You guys are ShiningShockingStar and FlamingFroFlint, right? Can we join you?"

Two girls were approaching them with cafeteria trays in hand. One had black pigtails, a brown skirt, a white shirt, and a blue sweatshirt tied around her waist. The other had pink hair and a bandage on her nose and wore spandex and sweatpants.

Flint looked up with recognition in his eyes. "Hey, you guys are Candice and Maylene, right? From FistsofFrost?"

"That's us!" the dark-haired girl piped up.

"Go ahead. Sit down," Volkner indicated. He didn't recognize the two, but Flint seemed to trust them.

"Volkner, these two have a joint gaming channel just like we do," Flint explained.

"Oh, I see," Volkner commented. "What kind of games?"

"We do fighting games, mostly," the pink-haired girl said. Her tray was piled so high with various foods—burgers, pizza, pasta, fries—that Volkner feared the mountain would topple. "Candice's main channel centers around her own game designs, though."

Volkner's eyes widened. "You're a game designer? That's so cool!"

"She's really good, too," Flint added. "She's known for creating her own unique environments."

"Yeah, you make that sound inventive and everything," Maylene drawled, dipping one of her french fries in a sizeable mound of ketchup, "but it's really an excuse to put ice levels everywhere. You know, those awful ones with zero traction? She does those."

Candice giggled around a mouthful of noodles. "I just like messing with people. At least I don't focus too much on water levels. THOSE are the obnoxious ones."

The other three all groaned in agreement. They chatted amiably for several minutes about video games, how their channels were run, and the unique challenges offered by their profession.

Volkner glanced to his left. "Flint, you've been staring at my bagel for about five minutes now."

"Well, it looks good!" he said defensively.

"Here," Volkner said with exasperation, holding up one half. Flint took a bite straight from his hands, chomping right over Volkner's own bite marks and chewing thoughtfully.

"Good?" Volkner questioned.

"Yeah, not bad. Thanks."

"No problem. Hey, you gonna finish your soda?"

"Nah, go ahead." Flint held up his drink, and Volkner sipped from the straw.

"Thanks," he said casually as Flint put it back on the table. He looked up to see Candice and Maylene staring at them and giggling. "What?"

"Pfft. Nothing, you guys are just cute," Maylene admitted.

"It's nice to see another same-sex couple in gaming," Candice agreed.

Volkner choked on the dregs of the soda, and Flint acknowledged the statement. "Oh, we're not actually together. We just mess around because our fans like it when we flirt with each other."

"What?" Maylene said, genuinely confused. "But you're feeding each other, and look how close you're sitting!"

Flint and Volkner immediately separated, realizing that they'd forgotten to leave space between each other again. "Th-that's…we have to sit like this when we film to fit in the same frame, so we're used to it," Volkner pointed out.

Flint nodded. "And we live together, so we're pretty close. It's not weird."

Candice snorted and crossed her arms. "Psh. Yeah, right. You guys are more affectionate than we are!"

"Yeah, and we're girlfriends," Maylene managed as she scarfed down another cheeseburger. "Besides, you're blushing. You guys aren't normal. If you're not together yet, it's only a matter of time," she said definitively, as if that settled it. Candice nodded with her.

"Now hold on," Flint stepped in. "Just because two guys feed each other, sit close together, live together, piss without bothering to close the bathroom door—"

"EW!"

"GROSS!"

"Correction: FLINT does that," Volkner clarified. "I have standards. He also marches around the apartment in a towel half the day and makes me pet his hair. I do none of this. Because it IS weird," he said. "Flint, you have to admit you do cross the line sometimes."

"Oh, come on. That's not weird. You guys would act affectionate if your gaming partner was this cute, wouldn't you?" Flint said, pulling Volkner in by the shoulder and nuzzling his hair. "You smell nice today, by the way."

Volkner was not amused. "You see this?" he said, gesturing to Flint's snuggling. "I'm not going crazy, right? It's not normal."

Maylene shook her head. "Nope. Definitely not. It is cute, though."

Candice objected. "I think it's perfectly normal behavior…"

"THANK YOU!" Flint cried.

"…if you're boyfriends," she finished. Maylene and Volkner laughed.

Volkner reached over to check Flint's watch, noting that their panel was set to begin in about twenty minutes. "Well, looks like it's time for us to head out. I'm really glad we got to talk to you girls. This was fun," Volkner said, smiling as all four shook hands. "We should do a collab soon so I'll have some other people to point out how stupid Flint is."

"Hey! I'm not stupid! And we're perfectly normal!"

Maylene and Candice walked away hand-in-hand, and Volkner could have sworn he heard them muttering something about "cute couples."

* * *

Volkner paced restlessly behind the long table, almost tripping over a chair leg. There were only about ten people at the panel so far, but he was practically hyperventilating already.

"Volk, dude, sit down. You're gonna make a trench in the ground with all that pacing," Flint warned, gently pulling him down into the seat next to him.

Volkner tottered with instability for a moment, but allowed Flint to pull him into his chair. He didn't stop moving, though. His feet shuffled and his fingers drummed obnoxiously on the table. "Sorry, I'm just nervous."

"Don't be," Flint said comfortingly, rubbing Volkner's shoulder. "Remember, these people are here because they like us. They love your work, and they're just happy you're here! There's no pressure."

Volkner grinned. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not so bad when you put it that way."

"Here, bro, take this." Flint handed him his water bottle. "You'll need this more than I will. You're sweating bullets already," he pointed out, wiping off a bead of perspiration from Volkner's temple with his palm. His hand remained on the side of Volkner's face as he looked deep into his eyes in reassurance. "You'll do just fine, Volkner."

Volkner was unable to pry his eyes away. It was all so cruel. Here he was, in love with his best friend who cared about him so much, having been falsely affectionate with the man to the extreme, but unable to truly be with him. His heart ached at the tender look Flint gave him. He was mere inches from his face…

"Boop!" Flint said jokingly, poking his nose. Volkner's face went blank from confused exasperation. "There we go! Don't you feel better now?"

 _What an idiot. And I'm an even bigger idiot for falling for him._

Volkner downed a huge gulp of water like a drunkard as Flint checked his watch. "It's time, and plenty of people have shown up," he pointed out. Volkner looked up and noticed Flint was right. Gosh, when had they all gotten there? There had to be at least seventy by now. How many of them had seen their…"moment?"

"You ready to go?" Flint asked, smirking in excitement.

Volkner swallowed harshly. "As I'll ever be," he said, cheekily echoing his words from their first-ever video from all those months ago. He knew from the look on Flint's face that he remembered, too.

"Great. Let's do this!" They switched on their microphones simultaneously, and Flint addressed the audience. "Hey, guys! How are you liking the convention so far?"

A loud cheer was his answer. "Good to hear! We're glad to be here, too. For those who don't know, I'm FlamingFroFlint…"

"I'm ShiningShockingStar…"

"And we are IgnitionGaming!" the two finished together. An even louder cheer erupted from the viewers.

"We're here to answer any questions you guys have," Volkner said. "So ask away!"

A random girl in the crowd yelled, "VOLKNER, WILL YOU MARRY ME?!" He froze up and almost dropped his mic in the process of rapidly covering his blushing face.

Flint fielded the question in his stead. "Sorry, he's already taken!" he joked, grabbing Volkner's hand and holding it up in his own for the crowd to see, their fingers intertwining naturally. The viewers all laughed, but after their conversation with Candice and Maylene, Volkner had to wonder how many of them thought he was serious.

A male fan changed the subject with a legitimate question. "This one's for Volkner. How do you come up with your double battling strategies?"

Volkner came out of hiding and answered the question much more easily. About ten minutes of questions about their individual channels passed, and then IgnitionGaming came into the conversation. There were inquiries about how the two had met, how long they'd known each other, where the name came from, and other generic questions.

Just as Volkner was starting to get comfortable, the fanservice issue came into question. Many fans wanted to know EXACTLY how close the two were. Volkner wasn't really sure how to answer those, so Flint handled them deftly in his usual, vaguely hinting way, telling pretty half-truths to the audience to keep them guessing. Even after having known the man for ten months, Volkner still wasn't sure how he did it.

Finally, the kicker came: "How come you guys never kiss?!" Even Flint stopped in his tracks, so Volkner took over.

"W-we…d-don't really like public displays of affection," Volkner stuttered, his actual anxiety adding to the effect. He cleared his throat. "Besides, our male fans probably wouldn't like that too much," he said, appealing to the two or three men in the crowd.

The audience was having none of that. "Aww, yeah right!" "That's not true!" "Flint gropes you all the time on camera!" "Liar!" "Your male fans are all gay anyway!" "Just kiss already!" "Do it!" "Kiss!" "Kiss!" "KISS!"

A ravenous chant of, "Kiss, kiss, kiss!" erupted from the fangirls' throats, and Volkner and Flint were suddenly faced with a demanding mob. The degenerate legion of rabid fanatics wasn't letting up.

"Oh jeez," Volkner muttered away from the mic. "What should we do, dude?"

Flint regained his composure. "We can just play along with it like usual, right? It won't be so bad."

Volkner's anger reached a boiling point. "'Playing along?' Is that all I am to you? Oh, I'll show you 'playing.'" Volkner stood from his chair and forcefully dragged a petrified Flint up by his collar until he was an inch away from Volkner's blazing eyes. "Have a taste of your own medicine, Flint. Don't worry, I'll make sure it's hilarious for the fans." With that, Volkner swiped his foot under Flint's, literally sweeping him off his feet and dipping him over backward like an old cartoon character. A panicked Flint had to whip his arms around Volkner's neck to hold himself up. The audience laughed uproariously at the dramatic move, even the men. The laughter morphed into cheers and wolf whistles when Volkner smashed their lips together.

 _I might only have one shot at this. If he doesn't get it with this, I don't know what I'll do._

Volkner threw everything he had into the passionate lip-lock. He used every trick in the book, remembering every hint Flint had ever given him about his own preferences. He'd unwittingly given Volkner the advantage by oversharing so much.

 _Run a hand through the hair here—_

A whimper.

 _Bite his lip there—_

A whine.

 _Stroke his sensitive sides—_

A soft moan into his mouth.

The cheers around them grew distant as Volkner played him like a fiddle, deepening the kiss further and subduing Flint's tongue with his own dominant one. He poured his heart and soul into the intense kissing, and felt greedy satisfaction spread in his heart like a wonderful, perverse poison as the man he loved shuddered with arousal under his assault. He rubbed a thumb behind Flint's ear exactly where he knew the man liked it. Flint sighed and submitted to the treatment, gripping Volkner for dear life and growing limp as putty in his arms.

Volkner didn't stop until he felt Flint's hardness press into his leg. He then pulled away with a sated grin and licked his lips, pulling Flint back upright and thoroughly enjoying the bewildered but hazy expression of arousal on Flint's face. It was finally his turn to blush for once.

"Let's see how you like it," Volkner whispered in Flint's ear, nudging the obvious erection with his hip. Flint's eyes widened in realization.

"Y-you…"

Volkner kissed his nose and smiled playfully. "Boop."

They were interrupted by a cacophony of riotous screeches and whistles from the horde of excited fangirls (and boys). Volkner openly preened as Flint discreetly sat down, extremely grateful that the overly-large tablecloth hung down to the floor and ensured his modesty.

"Now, I think that about covers THAT subject, right?" Volkner said smugly as he sat next to his partner. A resounding cheer served as his response. "Well then, we've still got about…" As usual, Volkner took ahold of Flint's hand to check his watch, noting the other man's uncharacteristic twitch at the action. "…five more minutes. Any last questions?"

Volkner finished up the interview almost single-handedly; Flint only spoke up when fans directly addressed him, mumbling even then. They signed autographs, shook hands, took pictures, shut down the panel, and headed home.

Then the door slammed shut, and shit hit the fan.

* * *

Eyes alight with fury, Flint grabbed ahold of Volkner's collar and roughly pinned him against the door. "What the hell was that?!"

Volkner blinked mildly. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't!" Flint yelled. "Why the fuck did you do that?!"

Volkner chuckled tauntingly. "Do what? You're going to have to be a little more specific."

"Oh, come on! You made out with me in front of a panel of almost a hundred people until I…I…" Flint's voice dropped off in embarrassment, and his hands loosened around Volkner's collar.

"Until you what, Flint? It's all FOR THE FANS, right?" he sneered. "Why? What happened to you out there?" Volkner laughed bitterly and shoved Flint off of him. The man stumbled backwards, and Volkner advanced on him boldly. "This is the kind of shit I go through every day. You grope me, tease me, and turn me on every fucking time we record, right in front of the thousands of people who watch our videos. I get hard half the time we film, but do you notice? No. NEVER."

Flint's back hit the kitchen counter, and Volkner slammed his hands on the counter on either side of him to trap him there under his intense gaze. Flint whimpered, but Volkner didn't stop.

"You know all those times when I've gotten mad and gone to the bathroom for the break? You wanna know what I do in there?" Flint gulped. "You don't want to know half the shit I've done in that bathroom."

Volkner mentally patted himself on the back for rendering Flint so speechless that he didn't make a stupid pun about shit and bathrooms.

"Every time you rub my leg or whisper in my ear, it just gets worse. The things they write about us aren't wrong; you don't know how many times I've fantasized about fucking you on that couch. Wanna know what I was doing that time you caught me reading about it?"

The question was rhetorical, but Flint still swallowed harshly and responded. "Wh-what?"

"I was jacking off, Flint. Just like I always do when you leave," he admitted shamelessly. "I was about ten seconds away from whipping it out. You know how much fanart there is of us? I live for that shit. Thanks to you and your little "fanservice," Flint, I've had blue balls for ten months now, so THIS," he spat, bringing up a leg to rub against Flint's crotch, "is NOTHING."

He was surprised to find that Flint was actually hard. Apparently, his talk had finally gotten to the man. _So he isn't made of stone after all._

Flint gasped at the contact and gripped Volkner's arms so hard that his nails wrinkled the sleeves of his jacket. Volkner took the opportunity to press even closer, wrapping one arm around Flint's torso to meld their bodies together. His other hand threaded into his red afro so he could clench his fist in the roots and yank harshly. Flint sucked in a harsh breath, and Volkner could tell from his shudders that the man liked it.

"Flint, you are arguably the densest man I have ever met. No amount of hints can let you know how much I've wanted you for all this time, so I'll just have to show you," Volkner snarled. Then, he smashed their mouths together and groaned with contentment.

Flint scrabbled desperately at Volkner's back and moaned, but he didn't object or try to move away. On the contrary, he pressed back against him with fervor, moving his lips against Volkner's with wild abandon.

Volkner knew Flint liked things rough (mostly because Flint had told him so a million times), so he didn't hold back. He pulled Flint's hair, scratched down his back, bit hard down on his lips, and pressed him against the counter so hard that it dug into his back.

Flint's hands didn't stay still, either; they tangled in Volkner's hair, pulled him in by the neck as their tongues tangled, and fisted in his jacket. They wandered down to grab him by the hips, and Volkner thrust against him in response to grind their hard erections against each other. A rumble grew in Volkner's throat, and he pulled away from Flint's mouth so he could hear the other man keen in arousal at the contact. The vocalization spurred him on as his mouth migrated to Flint's neck, licking and biting in all the right spots, no doubt leaving marks that would embarrass them both the next day.

"God—Volk—ah! How are you…so good at this?" Flint choked out.

"Your own fault," Volkner muttered into his ear. "You tell me EVERYTHING about yourself." He punctuated his statement with a hard, aggressive nip to his ear, making Flint cry out again. He augmented the effect by trailing a hand up Flint's shirt to tweak at his chest. Warmth rippled through their bodies everywhere they touched.

Flint gave another whine. There was too much heat between them, so he yanked off Volkner's jacket and tugged his shirt up forcefully in an attempt to remove it. Volkner allowed this and ripped off Flint's as well. Even when the cool air met their skin, there was little relief from the heat because Volkner jerked them back together and shoved his tongue back into Flint's mouth, and their bare, slick torsos rubbed together to create more friction.

Flint swiftly pulled away from the dominating kiss and gulped in air like a drowning man. His eyes fluttered shut as he tried to cope with the sensations. Volkner panted against his lips and slid his hands down the back of Flint's loose pants, squeezing his ass cheeks for all they were worth with his hungry hands. Flint moaned shamelessly at this and rutted against Volkner, speaking out at last. "I don't want to do this here. We should…" He didn't finish his sentence, instead darting his darkened, lust-glazed eyes to the gaming couch. Volkner nodded in confirmation; their beds were entirely too far away for this.

Volkner never did figure out just how he and Flint made it to that couch, though he did know they lost their pants along the way. Finally, he had Flint's willing, pliant, squirming body pinned underneath his on that damn couch. Flint glistened with sweat, just like he did in all Volkner's fantasies and wet dreams that left him hard and wanting almost every morning with his balls throbbing so badly he could hardly walk. He resisted the urge to pinch himself; if this really was just another dream, he didn't want to wake up.

Volkner took a moment to pause and kneel above his friend to take in the sight. A thrill ran through his groin upon seeing the state he'd reduced him to. Flint's cheeks were flushed red, and his lips were swollen from Volkner's passionate ministrations. His slender, lightly muscled body writhed with desire, and his fists tangled in the cushions. His long neck was bared to show Volkner's possessive marks. He arched his back sharply and gasped with each touch. His hardness, the rawest display of his arousal, was tented tautly against the inside of his boxer briefs. Flint's eyes were cloudy and unfocused as he ran his famished eyes over Volkner's bare body, and his mouth gaped wide open to allow fevered pants and soft, pleasured pleas to escape. All his.

Volkner had never seen anything so beautiful.

Unable to wait a second longer, Volkner pressed a brief but bruising kiss to Flint's lips before moving lower. He kissed and nipped down his neck and bit at Flint's collarbone, no doubt leaving a crescent-shaped mark in his efforts to please his partner. It worked; Flint cried out and tangled a hand in Volkner's blond spikes, fisting the other back into the cushions of the couch. Volkner kept moving and slid his hands down Flint's sensitive sides, lightly enough to tease but firmly enough not to tickle. He kissed down the man's chest until he reached his nipples, rubbing at one with his right hand while he sucked at the other. Flint's hips bucked up instinctively to find friction that wasn't there as he bit his lip to stifle a groan. Volkner didn't stop, leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses all down Flint's torso and sliding his hands down further as he bent his body over Flint's and pleased him selflessly.

His hands finally reached Flint's boxers. He rubbed his face against the clothed cock, delighting in the reactions his torturous motions drew from his partner. His fingers slid under the material to massage Flint's cheeks again.

Flint choked on air and gasped out a plea. "Volk, please…"

Volkner smirked. "Please what, Flint? Hints don't work too well in this house, remember?" he mocked cruelly.

"Ugh…you know what I mean!" Flint growled out.

"I'm waiting," Volkner growled. He wasn't going to give up. Instead, he mouthed gently at Flint's trapped erection.

Flint groaned again. "Fine! Just suck me already…please."

Volkner chuckled darkly. "Very good, but you have to do something for me, too," he said. At Flint's hazy, curious gaze, Volkner hooked his thumbs into his own boxers and slid them down his legs to drop them onto the floor. He followed suit with Flint's own. He noticed the man was staring at his crotch and raised an eyebrow tauntingly. "You okay down there?"

Flint shook his head rapidly to jar himself back to reality. "Sorry, I'm still not over how thick you are. I mean, it's not like I've never seen it before, but—I mean, uh…" he slapped a hand over his own mouth at his slip-up.

Volkner cocked his head. "Uh…you have?"

"Well, you were in the shower, and I—ACCIDENTALLY, mind you—walked in on you—just for a second, I promise!" he clarified at Volkner's wide-eyed stare. "I just barely poked the door open…I mean, you weren't jerkin' it or anything, so you were still soft…don't look at me like that, it was an accident, I swear!"

Volkner shook his head in disbelief. "How the hell do I not remember that?"

Flint scratched the back of his head. "Well, you were shampooing, so you had your eyes shut…let's change the subject! How about we re-enact that fanfiction now?!" he suggested with a hasty, manic grin.

That brought Volkner back. "I don't want to hear you say one more word about our fans right now," he snarled. He did take the suggestion, though, turning around to orient himself backwards over Flint's dick, which still stood proudly in the open. Its scent was musky, and the smell of sex invaded Volkner's nostrils like a powerful aphrodisiac. He felt Flint's hands shift his hips into position over his head and take him into his mouth. Volkner muffled his own noise of pleasure by closing his mouth over Flint's length and sucking. Hard.

Flint made a muffled noise, and the vibrations pleased Volkner further. Even with Volkner's decent amount of experience in this field, Flint's cock was too long to deep-throat entirely, so he pumped the remainder with his fist and drifted his other hand lower to carefully roll Flint's balls in his palm.

Enjoying the treatment, Flint responded by squeezing Volkner's hips and running his tongue along his length before taking him entirely into his mouth and swallowing deeply around him.

Volkner's suppressed cries rang out as Flint's throat muscles constricted around his cock, and he did his best to take more into his own mouth. He bobbed his head more quickly, knowing he wouldn't last much longer and not wanting to come first. Flint clearly had the same idea as he quickened his own pace, purposely humming around Volkner's dick and deep-throating him like his life depended on it.

Volkner felt his hardness twitch and throb in Flint's wet, tight mouth, and he let out one last muffled groan as the heat overtook him and he thrust deeper, releasing copious amounts of fluid down Flint's throat as he saw white and his muscles clenched with the intensity. Wanting to finish Flint off, he swirled his tongue quickly around the head before rapidly taking in as much as he could, taking care to be mindful of his teeth. Flint's lower body spasmed as well, and Volkner was gratified when he felt his mouth fill with Flint's own warm release just a few seconds after he'd done the same. He swallowed the slightly bitter fluid with relish and released the wet, softening member from his mouth. Flint did the same and sighed as he allowed Volkner's cock to fall from his mouth. The two lay there for a moment in sated pleasure as the tension left their bodies.

Flint grunted softly and, not wanting to crush him, Volkner flipped around to a more normal position, his muscles just barely allowing him to turn and lie down next to him. It was a little cramped on the narrow couch, but they were both skinny enough to fit. They remained there for a minute, staring at each other and panting from their simultaneous releases. Volkner leaned forward a bit and pressed a tender kiss to Flint's lips before smiling gently at the man.

Flint kept a straight face for a moment before giggling cutely, the slight blush that remained on his face adding to the effect. Volkner laughed along nervously and cupped Flint's cheek, gently stroking a thumb down the side of his face and enjoying the relaxed look of his features. He shifted his hand into Flint's hair and stroked it softly in apology.

"You okay?" Volkner questioned, unable to resist looking at the marks covering Flint's body. In retrospect, he might have gone a bit overboard.

Flint laughed harder. "Yeah. Better than okay, actually. Did you really mean all that?"

Volkner's expression grew a bit more solemn. "Of course. Couldn't you tell?"

"Not really," Flint admitted, shaking his head dumbly. "You were always so stern…I just thought I was getting on your nerves." He closed his eyes and sighed. "I just never thought someone like you could ever wind up liking me," he confessed, averting his eyes.

Volkner cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know," he said. Volkner's look of confusion clarified that no, he didn't know. "Well, you're just so cool! You're smart, handsome, fit, and talented, and I'm…just Flint."

Volkner hid his face in Flint's collarbone. "What do you mean, you're 'just Flint'?"

"What do I mean?" Flint said incredulously, pulling Volkner back up by his chin. "Most of the reason I started this whole fake-affection thing was to get close to you because I never thought you would actually want me for real. I'm goofy, scrawny, and awkward, I have weird posture and crazy hair, and I'm not very smart—"

Volkner clamped a hand over Flint's mouth. "Stop right there! You're none of those things!" he interrupted. "Well, I mean, your hair's crazy, but I love it just the way it is," he allowed, running his hand through the red curls to prove his point. "You're lovable, sociable, quirky, creative, you've got the best sense of humor in the world…and your figure is just like mine, by the way, so if you're scrawny, then so am I!" Flint had to chuckle a bit at this. "I get pissed at you sometimes because you make me so goddamn sexually frustrated! Don't you have any idea how much I want to jump you every time you come out of the shower?" Flint's expression only showed oblivious shock. "You really don't know what you do to me, Flint. You're sex on legs, and you don't even realize it. Haven't you read any of the comments on our videos?"

Flint was stunned for a moment. "Well, I read the ones on yours," he said sourly. "The ones where all the girls want to get in your pants." He scowled.

"Then you'd do well to read the ones on your channel and IgnitionGaming, because you're just as sought-after as I am." He paused for a moment. "Actually, maybe you shouldn't. Most of them are pretty obscene…you wouldn't believe how many questions you get about the color of your pubic hair," Volkner said without a trace of embarrassment. "I wonder how they'd react if they found out you shave anyway…" he pondered. Flint facepalmed. "Besides, if you don't know how much the fangirls want to screw you, I can keep you all to myself," he finished with a mischievous smirk and he shifted closer to give him a kiss on the forehead, pulling away to stare lovingly into his perplexed eyes.

Flint was rendered speechless by the confession, so Volkner kept talking. "By the way, I'm sorry I called you dense," he said, snuggling up to Flint and kissing his nose. The man wrinkled his nose at the action. "I know I can be a bit harsh to you sometimes."

Flint snorted. "Nah, it's fine. I can be pretty stupid."

Volkner wrapped his arms around Flint's shoulders and started affectionately planting butterfly kisses down his neck. "Okay, fine, then. I love you, you dolt."

Flint smiled fondly. "And I love you, asshole."

* * *

Guys! This chapter now has fanart! Check it out: singinghotdog . tumblr

.com

/post/152249912716/a-fanart-of-an-ignition-fic-mewtube-m

Sorry to split up the link like that, but ffnet is finicky about links.


	6. Epilogue

Cheesy epilogue time! Because why not?

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"Welcome to the third annual January IgnitionGaming livestream!" a strident voice boomed. "I'm FlamingFroFlint..."

"...I'm ShiningShockingStar..."

"...and we are IgnitionGaming!"

The comment feed scrolled at a breakneck pace with excited fans as the pair's combined millions of subscribers expressed their happy anticipation for the stream to come.

Flint continued. "As you guys may have noticed, we've got a different format going on here. We've got separate facecams going on and two different sides! My screen's on the left, and Volkner's is on the right...because for once, we're not playing co-op. It's actually versus for once! Volk claims he's figured out a strategy that can make Luvdisc good for something. Can you believe that?" He gave a jolly chortle.

Volkner snorted from a separate chair that had been dragged into the other side of the living room so they couldn't cheat by looking at each other's screens. "Keep laughing, Flint. Just give it time," he teased. Flint couldn't help but notice an uncharacteristic shakiness to his voice, slight though it was.

"Alright, let's start the match!" Flint declared. "Now, it's a little different this time around. Volkner's asked for a few requirements this time: I'm not allowed to win unless I use Knock Off to get rid of all his Pokémon's items. Weird, eh? He also told me I can't take hints from you guys, so I don't have access to the chat. Oh, and he told me to cut down on the hax. No guarantees, _babe,_ " he teased with a wink. Volkner only gave a strange smile in return.

Flint sent out a Pinsir and a Raichu, whose nicknames he had to explain, of course. "As you can see, we have Snuggles the Raichu, because by the way, Volkner sleeps with a stuffed Raichu. It's adorable."

Volkner puffed out his cheeks in embarrassed anger. He almost regretted choosing to start sleeping in the same bed with Flint those few years ago...almost. "You're not much better, you know. Hey, everyone, Flint has a Darumaka doll, in case you didn't know!" The chat was flooded with comments of "Lol" and "Aww!"

"Hey! Fireball's not a doll. He's an action figure!" Flint joked back. The Pinsir came out and activated its Mold Breaker ability. "Here we have Clorox the Pinsir because, y'know, Clorox breaks the mold, and...Volkner, what's with those names?"

The Pokémon in question were two Luvdiscs named "Will" and "You." Volkner didn't explain, so Flint took some guesses.

"Hm...'Will' isn't an uncommon name, so that's pretty normal...what's with 'You?' Hey, wait! Are you saying I'm as useless as a Luvdisc?!" he accused with a glare.

Volkner hid his face behind his hand and shook with mirth. "Not exactly. Don't worry, you'll figure it out. Some of the people in the chat already have."

Flint groaned. "Aww, this is so unfair! Ugh, whatever. I'm still gonna win." Both players selected their moves, and the action began.

Pinsir started things off by Mega Evolving. Snuggles the Raichu was fastest on the field, so his model snapped his tail forward in a Knock Off attack, hitting Will the Luvdisc and knocking off...a Heart Scale?

Flint tilted his head in amusement, so confused that he didn't even notice the critical hit. "Volk, did you forget to switch your items or something? Did you...catch that thing in the wild?" he questioned as the pink fish went down with one strike. "That thing has to have terrible stats. Even a Luvdisc shouldn't go down with one Knock Off from a Raichu."

Once again, Volkner didn't acknowledge the question. The Mega Pinsir hovered over to You the Luvdisc and struck with another Knock Off, taking it down with one hit again. The item knocked off this time was...

"Uh...Rose Incense? Volk, what's up with you today? Mis-click?"

Volkner shrugged. "Something like that." His eyes were on the chat; he knew it had been a good idea to not let Flint read it. About half the viewers had figured out his plan by now.

"Whatever you say," Flint said hesitantly as Volkner sent out his last two Pokémon. They were both Luvdisc, of course, but Flint was only focused on the names.

The first, a regular Luvdisc, was nicknamed "Marry," and the second one—which was shiny—was named "Me?".

Flint's jaw dropped. "V-Volk...you..."

Volkner kept his head down and chose his moves, though he knew it wouldn't matter with how fast and strong Flint's Pokémon were. "Aren't you going to attack?" he mumbled, not keeping eye contact.

Flint's hands shook as he selected his attacks again, unable to speak. Two more one-hit Knock Off K.O.s ensued, which allowed Flint to realize "Marry" had held a Destiny Knot, and "Me?" held a Ring Target.

A RING Target.

As Flint struggled to take it all in, he almost didn't notice Volkner stand up, close the distance between them, and kneel at his feet, pulling a small box out of his jacket pocket and presenting a gold ring.

"Flint, will you marry m—oof!" Volkner was interrupted by a sudden, tight hug as Flint dropped to his knees and pulled him close.

"YES! OH MY GOD, YES! DUDE, OF COURSE!" he practically yelled. "Of course I'll marry you, Volkner," he babbled, pulling away so he could kiss Volkner properly.

Two minutes later, they remembered they were streaming and stood up with flushed faces and mussed hair. The chat had exploded with support.

Anyone who chose to read the About section of IgnitionGaming's webpage later on would be met with, "FlamingFroFlint and ShiningShockingStar: The greatest romance in history!"

It was only one letter different, but that one letter made all the difference.

The end.

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I've always thought it would be fun to propose that way. Most people would probably think it was corny, though.


End file.
